All I Wanted Was Love
by darkangel9314
Summary: When Brittany is found dying in the streets, Kurt and Blaine take her into their care and help her through the challenges of her abusive relationship, which Brittany still refuses to let go of until she meets Santana Lopez the girl who makes her feel alive again. Can Brittany survive through her rough patch and make a life with a new life for herself?
1. Chapter 1

All I Wanted Was Love

Chapter 1

Brittany pulled her jacket closer as she shivered from the cold of the wet, damp street corner that she had been left at. It was just another typical day for Brittany. Her boyfriend had been on one of his drug and alcohol binges again and Brittany had to suffer yet another beating.

People had always told her to leave him, but she was always stubborn. There was still a part of her thinking that he would transport back into the guy that she fell in love with and not some monster who was hooked on any substance he could find. But that day hadn't came yet. Brittany was starting to wonder if it ever would.

She had had faith in him and he had repaid her by beating the living shit out of her and leaving her out there for dead just because she had the nerve to insist that maybe he should slow down on the drugs so they could have a real life together. He had laughed at her and had hit her with his fist saying that all she was to him was trash that hadn't finished her college degree and that he could never have a life with a girl that was going nowhere.

Brittany felt the tears flow down her cheeks as she snuggled in closer to her jacket. He had beat her so bad that she couldn't mood. She could only imagine what she must look like right now. It had seemed like forever until someone had finally found her.

She opened her eyes to see a guy who was around her age with the kindest blue eyes she had ever seen. It was nice to see someone who looked safe even if he wasn't. A guy who had to be around his age stood behind him. The two guys seemed as if they were actually together, but Brittany didn't judge. Love was love no matter what. She coughed only to see that she had pulled back a hand full of blood. She must have been dying that was the only explanation.

"Please help me." She cried before everything went black.

Brittany was awoken several hours later in a strange place that didn't look like a hospital. She took a sharp breath and sat up fighting off her bodies protest. Where the hell was she?

She turned her head and was shocked to see the two men who had helped her on the street corner and a woman that made her entire world stop. The woman had nicely tanned skin and dark black eyes. She was the most beautiful and attractive girl that Brittany had ever seen. She couldn't explain why her heart had beat so fast when she saw her, but every instinct in Brittany's body stated that she had to know her, but first she had to ask them a few questions.

"Where am I? Why am I not in the hospital?" she asked looking more at the two guys than at this lovely exotic woman.

"Let me first start off with introduction. I'm Blaine. This is my husband Kurt. And our friend Santana. We found you in a very bad condition out on a street corner. We would have taken you to the hospital, but you insisted that we didn't. So we brought you here, because we knew that our friend Santana was a nurse and if you refused to go to the hospital then she could at least help you."

Brittany nodded not willing to argue with Blaine's explanation. After all she had always hated hospitals, so it didn't really surprise her that she had asked to be brought somewhere else. She rested back on the couch and closed her eyes in pain. Her body still hurt all over, but at least she wasn't out on the streets anymore. She just needed to rest up for a night or two then she could go back to her boyfriend and apologize for whatever she did. She had to unless she wanted to live out on the streets.

Santana sighed and walked over to Brittany from where she was sitting. Brittany looked into her eyes as Santana kneeled down in front of her and rested her hand on her forehead.

"Your fever finally broke, but if I'm going to help you any further I need you to tell me what actually happened. You don't have to feel afraid anymore. You're safe."

Usually Brittany didn't trust people very easily, but looking at Santana now she had a distinct feeling that she could. She gave Santana a smile and took a deep breath.

"I just had an argument with my boyfriend that's all. He got a little too violent and he left me on the streets to learn my lesson. I deserved it really."

Santana took Brittany's hand and she looked into those deep brown eyes surprised at how well they kept her there. It was entrancing.

"Listen to me. You do not deserve anything this guy did to you. You deserve a man who treats you with respect and dignity. You deserve more."

"I really don't want to hear this. I'm really tired and all I want is sleep. Can we talk about this in the morning?"

"Yes we can, but we will be talking about this."

Brittany nodded and closed her eyes. She just hoped that in the end everything would work out.


	2. Chapter 2

All I Wanted Was Love

Chapter 2

Brittany woke up with a splitting head ache and moaned out loud. This week just wasn't her week and it also didn't help that she was in some strangers house. Sure they had rescued her from her boyfriend's wrath, but she couldn't stay there much longer.

After all, these strangers were kind enough to take care of her when she had no one. She sat up and let out a little short gasp.

There she was as beautiful as she remembered. She didn't really realize just how beautiful Santana was until that moment. There she was in her nurse's uniform with her skin glistening in the light. Her long black hair was also shimmering in the golden light that Brittany saw. As if she were some sort of angel. Brittany knew that if Santana would turn around she would be looking into the most gorgeous pair of brown eyes that she had ever seen. And luckily for Brittany that was just what happened.

To Brittany's surprise Santana didn't seem annoyed by her presence. She seemed rather delighted at the fact that Brittany was awake. Kurt and Blaine were no where in sight.

"Oh good. You're up. Did you want some coffee?"

Brittany was taken aback by the kind gesture, but nodded her head anyway. She had a feeling she had a long day ahead of her. Santana poured herself and Brittany a cup and headed to the couch to sit with Brittany. This was probably Santana's version of spending girl time together, which Brittany didn't mind. She never really had much friends that were girls before.

"So I feel like I'm being rude. If I'm going to be staying here for a couple of days or weeks depending on how long it takes me to get an actual job and find a place of my own I might as well try to get to know you, Kurt, and Blaine. So what do you do for a living?"

"I'm a nurse."

"Really. I would picture you more as the doctor type."

"I'm going to school for that."

"Oh. Cool so is nursing kind of like your internship."

"I guess you could call it that. Believe it or not medical school in New York is expensive. That's why I live here with Kurt and Blaine."

"That's cool. So how long have you been going to school?"

"For four years. Only six more to go."

"Damn I can't imagine going to school for that long."

Santana shrugged.

"I think you should go to the police."

"Well that was sudden."

"Don't you want your boyfriend to go to jail for what he did?"

"You don't know him like I do Santana. He can be really scary sometimes."

"All the more reason to go to the police."

"No. I'm not going to do that Santana. Now if you don't excuse me. I'm going to take a shower and then I'm going to try and find a job."

"Fine. Feel free to wear any of the clothes in my closet."

Brittany nodded and went to go take a shower knowing that Santana was right. She really should go to the police, but if Santana had been through what Brittany had just went through she wouldn't want to go to the police too.


	3. Chapter 3

All I Wanted was Love

Chapter 3

Brittany flopped her long blonde hair to one side as she wiped away the steam from the mirror. She now stared back at her reflection. She looked like hell. Even the shower hadn't helped much. She still had a black eye, a busted lip with a cut on the corner of it and a couple of bruises along one side where her boyfriend had punched her the previous night. She even had a few scratches on her body from when she fell to the asphalt.

She pushed back tears and used the one brush on the corner of the sink. She hoped that they didn't mind if she used it for the day. She had to remember to buy a couple of things for herself when she came into some money. She sighed and looked at herself now. Brittany looked a little better, but it was obvious that she had been in a physical fight.

Brittany exited the bathroom and was amazed to still see Santana sitting on the couch.

"I didn't expect you to still be here."

"Well I'm going in in an hour. I was hoping you would come with me to get a real checkup."

"I guess that's fine. Thank you, I know I'm being a pain in the ass I just don't want any more trouble. He's not worth it."

Santana nodded as Brittany headed into her room to burrow one of the outfits that Santana said she could burrow. She opted for a tshirt and some nice jeans. She kept her tennis shoes, because she wasn't the same shoe size as Santana. She just wished that she didn't have to go back to where her boyfriend was to get some of her clothes.

Brittany didn't really have very many possessions, but every article of clothing she owned was special to her. She shuffled her feet as she approached Santana.

"Thank you for letting me burrow your clothes and for letting me stay here."

"No problem. Shall we go?"

Brittany smiled as she followed Santana out the door.

The hospital smelled of lemon and medicine as Brittany roamed the halls with Santana. Santana greeted all her coworkers with a smile except for one.

"Good morning Santana have you finally came to your senses and joined the Puck train again." The man smiled.

"Puck the last time I checked I was still into pussy. Which if your tiny brain can't comprehend it means I'm still very much into girls , but if i ever was straight I wouldn't go for you."

Puck's mouth twitched. "It's your loss anyway."

Puck walked away as Brittany looked at Santana.

"You're a lesbian."

"Does that bother you? I thought it wouldn't because of how well you took being helped out by Kurt and Blaine. Unless you couldn't tell they were gay. Then I think we should seriously check to see if you have a concussion."

Brittany bit her bottom lip like she usually did when she was nervous or embarrassed. Santana had made her feel both as well as made her feel other things. What was up with her lately anyway?

Santana tilted her head to the side indicating for Brittany to follow her. Brittany followed her to a small observation room where a pretty blonde girl stood. She smiled at Santana, but lost her smile when she saw Brittany with her. She wondered what had happened between those two. She would have to ask Santana about it later.

"Who is this?" The blonde girl said with an almost too forced smile.

"This is Brittany. Kurt and Blaine found her on the streets last night and she was beat up really bad. I would like you to thoroughly examine her please."

"I don't know Santana. You know she has to wait her turn first. Not to mention she hasn't filled out her paperwork yet.."

That's when Santana did something that surprised Brittany. Santana reached out and touched the girl's cheek stroking it softly.

"Please Quinn you know I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important."

Quinn gulped as she stepped out of Santana's reach.

"Fine, but this is the last time Santana. Please sit up on the table so I can examine you."

Brittany nodded as Quinn prodded and poked her for a couple of hour and ran some test. All the while Santana had been with her and even held her hand a time or two when something had hurt Brittany.

"She has a concussion, but nothing appears to be broken. She'll have to take it easy for a day or two until the concussion clears, but besides that she's fine. "

"Thank you Quinn. I owe you one."

Quinn smiled and left the room. Brittany turned to look at Santana and smiled.

"So what's the story between you two?"

"There's not really much to tell. We had sex twice, but then she realized that it was just purely experimental for her and she left."

"That didn't seem like an experimental thing."

Santana smiled. " What can I say? I guess I just have that effect on the ladies. Who knows, You better watch out before I convert you next." She said with a wink.

Brittany knew she was only kidding but she couldn't help but feel her heart race when Santana had mentioned it. Santana looked away suddenly embarrassed and was clearly looking for a way to help the situation be less awkward.

"Hey. You said you needed a job right?"

"Yeah. I do."

"Well we actually have a couple of opening here. They don't require a college degree. It's more for answering phones and filling and other stuff, but a job is still a job."

"That actually sounds perfect."

"We'll go talk to my boss then and try to get you an interview."

Brittany smiled it looked as if things were looking up already.

As soon as Brittany was done talking to Santana's boss, she had scored herself a second interview that would happen in about two days. She glanced at Santana and took her hand squeezing it.

"Thank you for helping me today."

"It's what any decent human being would do, but hey I have to get back to my shift." She took her house key and handed it to Brittany.

"Uh, Okay."

"We'll talk more tonight." Santana leaned in and gave Brittany a kiss on the cheek.

She smiled and walked away leaving Brittany stunned.


	4. Chapter 4

All I Wanted Was Love

Chapter 4

Brittany waited around in Santana's room waiting for her to get back from her shift. She didn't know what this feeling was when it came to Santana, but she was determined to find out.

Twenty minutes later, Santana came into her room looking pleasantly surprised to see Brittany in her room. She was just glad she didn't automatically kick her out.

"Hey, what are you doing in here?" Santana said smiling.

Brittany looked around for an excuse and snagged a picture off Santana's drawer looking at a young Santana in her cheer leading outfit.

"Just looking at some pictures of you. You were a cheerleader."

"Yeah I was. What about you?"

"Yea. I actually was. And I was a pretty good one."

Santana smiled and sat down by the bed beside her.

"I guess that's one thing we have in common."

Brittany smiled and laid her hand on top of Santana's.

"Yeah. I guess it is."


	5. Chapter 5

All I Wanted was Love

Chapter 5

Brittany brushed her teeth looking at herself in the mirror as she prepared for her first day of work at the hospital. She was glad that Santana had gotten her the job, but she wasn't one hundred percent sure as to how she was going to handle it. The only job she had to work hard at was blowing guys behind a 7/11, but that was apart of her past that she would rather not discuss with anyone.

She inspected herself one more time before she walked out of the bathroom and immediately ran into Santana. Santana smiled at her wearing nothing but a towel. It appeared as if she was going to take a shower, but all Brittany wanted was to see what was under Santana's towel. She had no idea what was wrong with her.

"Look at you all work ready. Are you nervous?"

"Does it show?"

"Yeah, but i'm a professional I know how to spot the nervous ones."

Brittany laughed slightly as she twirled a strand of her hair. A move she knew was reserved specifically for her flirting. Was she openly flirting with Santana?

She shook those thoughts away and stepsided Santana allowing her to enter the bathroom.

"I guess i'll see you there." she smiled shyly at Santana.

She had no clue why Santana intimidated her so much.

"Yeah, I'll see you there." she said sending Brittany a wink

She shook her head to stop the flushing in her cheeks as she hurried on to get to the hospital. Santana had sacrificed a lot to get her a job at the hospital and she wasn't about to blow it by being late on her first day.

When she finally made it to the hospital, she spotted Quinn talking to a really attractive male nurse. And she always thought Quinn played for the other team. But at least she was someone who could tell her exactly what she was supposed to be doing. Seeing as how the job was as Quinn's assistant. Which meant whatever Quinn wanted her to do. She would have to do.

Brittany took a deep breath and tapped on Quinn's shoulder as Quinn gave her a look of disgust. What the hell was her problem?

"About time you showed up. I have a billion things for you to do today and could have used you an hour ago."

"I'm sorry, but I'm here now. What do you need me to do?"

"Well first off. You can start by taking this one hundred dollar bill then going around the floor to get everyone's coffee orders. Real doctors need it to stay awake if you were too dumb enough to know. Also I need you to hand them out to everyone. After that you can straighten out my files by alphabetical order of course and then after you're done doing that you can transfer them on the computer and then go over my patient files for today, so when you go on rounds with me tomorrow you don't look like a complete idiot."

"I thought that was interns jobs to do rounds with you."

"I'm giving them a break so you can prove you're worthy here. Don't make me regret it. Now run along. You have a busy day ahead of you."

Brittany fought the urge to roll her eyes at Quinn as she went to every doctor she could find and wrote down their orders. She had no clue how she was supposed to carry this herself when she bumped into Santana. She was as pretty as always.

"Hey, how is your first day going?"

"Not as I expected. I'm basically getting tons of coffee that i'm not sure how i'll carry everything by myself."

"Ah. Quinn's first day coffee run challenge. I'm sorry she's doing that to you. She's usually sweet when you get to know her."

Brittany sighed. That didn't really solve her dilemma.

"But if you need help i'll gladly go with you."

"Won't you get in trouble?"

Santana shrugged and grabbed her hand.

"They can wait. Come on let's go."

Brittany smiled as Santana pulled her out of the hospital where they found the nearest coffee shop that Santana knew Quinn approved of. Once they got all the orders together, they returned to the hospital and passed them out.

Brittany turned to Santana once they were done and smiled.

"Thanks Santana. I have no idea what I would have done without you."

"Don't mention it. Now I really have to get back to work. I'll see you back at home."

"See you later." Brittany said to Santana's retreating form.

She sighed then looked over to Quinn who gave her the evil eye then went back into her office. Brittany sighed. She knew Santana claimed that Quinn wasn't that horrible, but Brittany wasn't so sure of that.

Brittany went into Quinn's office where she was looking over a patient's file.

"I'm here to organize the files you talked about earlier."

Quinn looked up from her current file with a glare and motioned over to a huge pile of boxes.

"They're over there. Good luck." She said taking her current file and leaving the office.

Brittany sighed and got back to work much to her displeasure. She just hoped that this job would get better, because she had no idea what would happen if she didn't


	6. Chapter 6

All I wanted was Love

Chapter 6

Brittany tucked the last file in Quinn's filing cabinet and slammed it shut. It was finally time for her to get off and after the day she had she could really use a girl's night. Maybe Santana was up for it. After all Brittany had tried to give Quinn her change back for the coffee and she insisted that she kept it, so there was at least forty for drinks if Santana was interested. She just had to find her first.

Brittany said a quick goodbye to Quinn who waved her out as if she didn't care and Brittany set off to go find Santana. She found her on the second floor finishing up with a patient. She gently patted the patient reassuringly and walked over to where Brittany was.

"Hey you. How was your first day?"

Brittany smiled. "Quinn let me keep the extra money and I could really go for a drink. What do you say? Do you want to go to the bar after this?"

"Sure. Just let me finish up here and then we'll go."

"Okay."

"Okay."

After Santana finished, they went to the bar across the street and ordered two martini's She had to admit that even in the nurses outfit Santana looked like a world class hottie. They laughed and talked about their horrible days at work together. It looked as if even Santana had bad days. They were having so much fun that it sucked when Brittany saw him.

There he was just drinking with a couple of his friends. The guy who was now laughing was the guy who had beat her up less then a week ago. How dare he be having fun? Especially after what he did to her.

Brittany felt her breath go more shallow as Santana looked at where she was looking.

"Is that him?" she said turning back to Brittany.

Brittany nodded as Santana took her hand.

"He can't hurt you anymore Brittany. Just stay right here. I'll be right back."

Brittany nodded trying really hard to keep her composure as Santana walked over to him. She taped on his shoulder then threw a drink in his face slapping him. His friends held him back as she began saying something to him. One of his friends whispered in his ear and they dragged him out of there as Santana came back to her seat.

"What was that about?"

"I was teaching him some manners and I told him if he ever touched you again he would live to regret it."

"You didn't have to do that."

Santana grabbed Brittany's hand. "Yes I did."

"Well thank you anyway."

Santana smiled and called over to the bartender.

"We need another round over here."

The bartender gave them two more martini's as they watched other people sing. It was karaoke night and Brittany thought it actually looked like fun.

"Do you sing?" Brittany asked.

"I did in high school. Why?"

"It actually looks like fun. I was wondering if you wanted to try it."

"You know what, why not? Like you said it could be fun."

Brittany smiled as they both got onstage and sung their hearts out. It was actually a really fun night. After a few more drinks and a couple rounds of karaoke, Brittany and Santana went back to the house and went into Santana's room where they were discussing what all happened at the bar. Brittany didn't even know how it happened one minute they were joking around when a hair slipped from Santana's face and Brittany tucked it back underneath her ear.

Santana looked at her shocked as Brittany tried to pull her hand back, but Santana kept it there. Before Brittany knew it they were kissing. It was more than any kiss Brittany had had before. She leaned back on the bed as Santana laid on top of her. She had to admit that this felt really good.

Then out of nowhere Santana sat up and wiped her lips as if she couldn't stand the fact that she had kissed her.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that." she said. " You should really go to bed. We have a busy day tomorrow."

Brittany sucked in her lip and nodded trying to hold back tears. Maybe tomorrow would be better, because she couldn't live with the fact if she blew her friendship with Santana. She would just have to wait and see she guessed.


	7. Chapter 7

All I Wanted was Love

Chapter 7

Brittany groaned as she pulled the covers over her. She shouldn't have drank last night. She always had a habit of getting the worst hangovers. And what was worse was that today she just didn't have to deal with a hangover. She also had to deal with the fallout of what happened to her and Santana the other day. Of course it was on,y her first week in this apartment and she had already blew it in someway. Maybe her ex-boyfriend had been right all along. Maybe she was a screw up and she didn't deserve any better than him. Maybe she should just do herself a favor and pack up and leave now maybe beg for him to let her stay. After all she had been out of line and maybe just maybe they could work something out.

She shook her head and threw the covers off of her. She really hated when her mind turned to the darkest corners. He was an abuser and all he would do was abuse her again. She just had to keep remembering that or else she would never survive on her own. She had to be an adult now and sometimes being an adult meant dealing with things that were unpleasant. Like roommates you just so happened to make out with the other day. She sighed. She guessed it was time to go deal with everyone.

She went to her closet and picked out an outfit throwing it on since today was her day off and she only had to deal with Santana for so long today. She wasn't sure if Kurt or Blaine were off today, but she guessed she would soon find out.

She opened her door and stepped into the hallway. There was no sign of anyone, bit it didn't necessarily mean that they were gone yet. She sighed and shuffled over to the kitchen where she looked at the place where they all kept their keys. Everyone's keys were still there so she assumed they were all still asleep.

She looked over to the clock and squinted, It was barely 6 am so she rummaged through the refrigerator and made a huge breakfast like she remembered her mother used to do. She missed her mother's cooking. Maybe she should find time to call her today. After all just because her boyfriend was out of the equation didn't mean her mother had to be. Maybe today would finally be the day she forgave Brittany for the accident that happened when she was a kid. After all it had been years since they last saw each other and it had been an accident that Brittany went through extensive therapy for before she met the boy that had taken her away from it all. Maybe she wouldn't be in this shitty situation if she just had stayed. She would have to find out later.

After she was done setting everything up, Kurt and Blaine came out of their rooms and looked at everything with a smile on their faces. It was obvious they hadn't had so,someone do this for them for a while and she was happy she could do this one little thing for them. Even if she did chose to leave she was glad that Blaine and Kurt had let her stay here. Now all she needed was to make things right with Santana and she would be good to go.

As if Santana were reading her mind, she came into the kitchen clad in her nurse's outfit. Brittany frowned slightly she had hoped that Santana had the day off so they could have a private minute to talk about it, but she guessed that wouldn't be happening until she got off work.

Santana gave a look of regret to Brittany before she waved bye to all of them and walked out the door. Kurt and Blaine finished up their breakfast and also went off to work, which meant she was stuck there for the entire day. She sighed and popped a couple of pills for her headache before she sat down on the couch to watch tv. She would have to call her mom sometime but she was holding off on it until she knew exactly what to say.

After a while Brittany gazed at the phone that they kept on the table and grabbed it dialing the number she knew all too well.

"Hello?" the voice on the other end said.

"Mom. It's-It's me Brittany."

"Why are you calling Brittany? You know I refuse to help you with anything after what happened to Samantha."

"Mom. You know that was an accident."

"Was it really an accident Brittany or do you just love telling everyone that it was. "

"Mom please."

"Stop calling me that! Just do me a favor and go back to your trash boyfriend. You two deserve each other. You're both murders. "

Ans with that her mother hung up on her as Brittany placed her head in her hands and started to cry. Her mother was right. She was a murder and she could never forget that for the rest of her life. She didn't deserve anyone's kindness. She didn't deserve anything. And that was something she wouldn't soon forget.


	8. Chapter 8

All I Wanted was Love

Chapter 8

Brittany taped her pen against the front service desk as she waited for people to come through. Quinn had felt extra nasty today and had sent Brittany down here so she wouldn't have to see her face for the rest of the day. Brittany didn't mind though, after all Quinn didn't have that attractive of a face either si it evened out.

Sighing she took out the stack of charts that Quinn had assigned her to look through and started to file them into the system. Sometimes Brittany wished she could meet these patients, but unfortunately she didn't have enough experience to do so.

Brittany was so immersed in her work that she didn't notice when Santana came up to the desk.

"Hey."

Brittany was so startled that she dropped the file she was working on causing her to scatter the contents of the file all over. She sighed up at Santana before squatting down to pick up the papers. This day just seemed to be getting better and better.

Before Santana could reach down and help her Brittany snapped up giving her the best death glare she could muster. Why was Santana choosing now to come up and talk to her. She couldn't stand this back and forth thing with her any longer. She had to say something before she exploded -.

"Don't" she said slamming the file on the desk and sitting back down.

Santana sighed and was about to turn away when something unexpected and horrifying happened.

It had been a while since Brittany had laid eyes on his face, but she would know him from anywhere. Only this time there was something different about him.

"Brit-" he gasped out before collapsing.

Brittany gasped forgetting about the files and Santana as she rushed over to her ex-boyfriend. She couldn't believe this. This couldn't be happening.

Brittany collapsed to her knees and pulled his hands away from the spot he had been covering and gasped.

"Santana! He's been shot! Call for help!"

Santana nodded rushing down the hallway as Brittany held onto him crying.

"Don't worry baby help is on the way. Just hold on for me. Please."


	9. Chapter 9

All I wanted was Love

Chapter 8

An overwhelming sense of guilt flooded Brittany as she bit down on her finger nails awaiting news of her ex-boyfriend's condition. She knew she couldn't help the things she was feeling, but she knew it was rather irrational to be worried about the guy who had almost beat her to death for years, but he was hurt at this moment and she knew that if it was the other way around than he probably would have done the same thing. Wouldn't he? After all he could have just had a moment of weakness when he left her in the cold streets to die. Couldn't he? Hadn't that happened to many others and they were fine? She sighed and put her head between her hands. She really shouldn't be thinking this way she was just worried and that was making her be irrational. It was almost like how she had been with Santana lately.

Santana.

The name flooded through her mind no matter how much she tried to stop it. She knew that she was being a bitch to Santana and that she should apologize as soon as possible. After all it had been just one stupid and random drunk kiss. It had happened with girls all the time and Brittany had been childish to assume that it had been anything more than that.

Sighing she lifted her head up and as if Santana had read her thoughts she was standing right there with two cups of coffee in her hands. What was she doing here?

"Hey." Brittany said. She noticed that her voice was barely a whisper but at this moment she didn't care. She didn't care about anything.

"Hey. I thought you could use this. I heard somewhere that it's good for people in shock."

Brittany forced a smile on her lips as she took the cup from Santana.

"Thank you I really appreciate it."

Santana nodded and turned around to go, but Brittany felt the overwhelming urge to have her stay. She had come to consider Santana a friend after all and she really had been a shitty ass friend lately.

"Santana!"

Santana turned around with a look of confusion on her face.

"Ugh, I really don't want to be alone at the moment. Will you stay with me?"

Brittany expected Santana to refuse, but instead Santana sat down in the chair and smiled at her.

"What do you want to talk about?"

"I don't know I really didn't think I'd get this far."

"Well than I'll go first. I'm sorry for what happened with us Brittany. It was just a kiss and I really shouldn't have done it. I knew you weren't down for that and I did it anyway so for that I apologize. I stopped as soon as I realized what I was doing and I blamed you. That wasn't right of me and I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry for being so nasty to you. After all it was just a kiss and to be honest I actually liked it. I was mad at you because you treated it as if it were nothing. Like we were nothing and no matter how much you thought I didn't like it. I really did like it, because I like you Santana and that scares the hell out of me. I don't know what I'm doing and I'm scared to move on with my life, because I know a piece of trash like myself is no where near good enough for a girl like you and you deserve better than a girl who probably is just going through some faze. You're amazing and I don't want anyone to miss out on that."

Before Santana could say anything else, a nurse showed up and smiled at Brittany.

"The good news is that he's stable and awake, but we'll have to keep him overnight for observation, do you want to see him?"

Brittany let out a breath and smiled. She was so glad that he was alright, but she had to do something.

"Yes."

Before Brittany could move she felt Santana's hand wrap around her arm as if to hold her back.

"Brittany, let me come with you. You don;'t have to face him alone."

"But I do Santana or else I'll never find closure and I need that."

Brittany gave Santana a kiss on the cheek before she went to his room to end whatever was left between them.


	10. Chapter 10

All I Wanted was Love

Chapter 10

Machines beeped around her as Brittany gently opened the door revealing one of her worst nightmares inside of the room. It wasn't the fact that he had been hurt that had scared her, it was the fact that she was in such close proximity to him after what he had done to her. She didn't want to relive that memory, but it felt like no matter how hard she tried she couldn't help it from coming. One minute she was in the hospital surrounded by those dreaded machines and the next she was on the cold hard streets of New York reliving her worst nightmare.

A warm hand took her own as her and her boyfriend walked down the crowded streets of New York just talking and laughing. He had seemed like he was in such a good mood that she hadn't thought much when he pulled her into a dark alley and pressed the full length of his body to hers. What the hell was going on here?

"What the hell are you doing?" she asked looking at him wildly.

"Don't act so innocent Britt, I know you're stepping out on m. Who is he, huh? Who is the guy that's fucking you."

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about."

His fist slammed against the wall causing her to flinch. What had given him such an idea?

"You know exactly what I'm talking about Brittany, stop acting like you don't."

Brittany looked at him puzzled.

"Please tell me what I'm doing wrong, Britt, What have I done to make you hate me so much?"

"I don't hate you Rich, I love-"

The fist struck out so fast that Brittany didn't expect it. Her eyes widened as his breath cam in fast.

"Don't you ever lie to me bitch. Who do you think you are? Well I'm gonna teach you exactly who you are."

Brittany closed her eyes as the fist struck out at her and she exhaled bringing herself back to where she was in the hospital.

Richard opened his eyes and looked at her with narrowed eyes.

"Where the hell have you been, you stupid bitch?"

Brittany flinched flabbergasted about why she was so surprised about his reaction. After all this wasn't the first time he had let his anger out on here. It just had took her so long to see him for who he really was, but she would be damned if he spent a moment at this hospital without listening to exactly what she had to say.

"You know around."

"Don't play games with me Britt. I came back to get you and you weren't there. Where did you go?"

"That's really none of your business."

"So I was right. You were cheating on me."

"Actually I wasn't, but nothing I'm going to say is going to convince you otherwise so you just keep on thinking what you want to think and I'll be as far away from you as I can be trying to move on with my life."

"So that's it, huh? One mistake on my part and you're leaving me?"

"We were already over the moment you decided to lay your hands on me."

"You think you can escape me that easily? Do you think you can forget who you are that easily?"

"I can sure as hell try."

"And what are you going to do when you realize that you're the scum of the earth, Huh? Are you gonna come crying back to me about it, because I don't take back stupid bitches like you."

"I guess I'll figure it out along the way. And make no mistake Rich, Someone will love me again."

"Who would ever love a girl like you?" he asked his voice dangerously low.

"I would." a voice said from behind her and she saw Santana leaning against the door frame.

"Seriously? Have you turned into a lesbian on me, Britt? I had no idea you swung that way."

"It's none of your business if she does or not. Brittany can date whoever she wants now that she's single again."

"Whatever. Don;t come crawling back to me when you figure out that this is just a faze. Who knows maybe I'll take you back and hell I'd even let your girlfriend in on it. I've always wanted to try a Latina."

"Than go find one that can put up with your ignorant ass. Come on Britt, Let;s go."

"You'll never find anyone like me Britt, Just remember that."

"Thank God for that." Brittany said taking Santana's hand and going out of the room with her never looking back at the one person she thought she had loved.

Thirty minutes later, Santana and Brittany were seated across from each other at a table at a nearby restaurant. The scent of comfort food filled the air as Brittany munched on a fry careful not to think about what just happened. But the harder she tried to push that thought away the more it tried to crop it's nasty head up.

"Are you still thinking about what happened?" Santana asked looking at Brittany with concern.

Brittany nodded as Santana reached out her hand.

"It'll be okay."

"How do you know?"

"Because there was a time when I was like you and thought that things wouldn't be okay."

"Yeah? And when was that?"

"When I came out to my family."

Brittany sucked in a breath. She had never really heard about this story before and knew better to ask, but here Santana was ready to lay it all out just to make her feel better. She took her hand and squeezed.

"You don't have to tell me these things just to make me feel better."

"But I want to, because for some weird and strange reason, I want you to know everything about me."

Brittany nodded not trusting her voice. She was still in shock that Santana would trust her with this part of her life, but if she wanted to tell her story than Brittany would listen with an open mind and an open heart. Whatever Santana needed Brittany would be there from now on.

Santana inhaled a shaky breath preparing herself to tell the story that Brittany knew was difficult for her.

"It all started when I was thirteen, I always knew I was different somehow. I didn't soon over boys like other girls in my grade did and than it happened-"

"What happened?"

"I met a girl."

Brittany knew that something like this would happen, but Santana had never mentioned much about her dating life besides Quinn. It would be nice to know more about her even if Santana did want to keep their relationship strictly platonic.

"What was her name?"

"Her name was Alice."

Brittany scanned the names of everyone in Santana's life that she had met or mentioned in long talks with Kurt and Blaine, but the name Alice had never popped up. Brittany was starting to wonder why. And than she replayed Santana's words as she turned them over in her head holding on to one word in particular. Was. As in past tense. Something had happened to this Alice girl and that's why Santana had never brought her up, because this Alice girl, Whoever she had been to Santana, Brittany knew one thing for certain. That she was no longer alive and Santana knew exactly what had happened to her.

"What happened to her?"

"All in good time. For right now I would like to talk about the good before I relive the bad."

"I understand. "

Santana reached for her hand under the table and squeezed it when Brittany placed hers in.

"Thank you for understanding. As you may know this is very hard for me to talk about and with good reason, but just because what happened with Alice still hurts me to this day doesn't mean that she doesn't deserve to be remembered. Alice was such an amazing person. She was so strong and full of light that she was someone I truly admired. She was everything and than she was nothing at all. She was here one moment and just gone the next. The worst part of it all was that it was my fault. Alice was taken from the world too soon and it was all because I wouldn't stop loving her."

This time Brittany squeezed Santana's hand. Santana was the strongest person she had ever known and she hadn't even heard the full story yet.

"Tell me what happened to Alice."

"When I first met Alice, she was the first girl in our school to ever come out and not give a shit what other people thought about her. I had always envied that about her. I wanted to be her so bad. Wanted to accept the part of myself that I let no one else see. She made it look so easy, but I knew it also had to be hard for her too. She never showed it though. Refused to let anyone ever see her cry. I hardly knew her until the day that our chemistry teacher assigned us together to be lab partners. I swear that that was the best and the worst day of my life."

Brittany nodded wondering what it would be like if she had had a high school sweetheart. She had met Richard in her freshman year of college and had dropped out two months later. In high school she had only had numerous amounts of dates but no one caught her eye more than Santana was at this precise moment. The way she talked about Alice, like she was still alive in her heart, was the way that Brittany wished someone would talk about her. She only wished she would find that one day. Who knows maybe one day Santana would change her mind and give her a chance, but if she didn't she at least wished she could find something similar to what she had always dreamed of.

"At first I was reluctant to work with Alice, after all she was so strong and full of confidence that she intimidated me a little bit, but as soon as I got over my intentional fear we started to slowly, but surely get along. She used to have the best jokes. Sometimes it pains me that I don't remember them as well as I used to, but she always knew exactly what to do to make me laugh again. Sooner or later we got so close that I felt like she would be the first one I told about my secret. She was so understanding about the fact that I liked girls, but didn't know exactly how I felt. She helped me sort through my feelings and eventually our friendship became something more. "

Santana looked away as if lost in thought as they brought their food out. The waitress smiled at her and she smiled back not in a flirtatious way, but in a way you would smile at a stranger if they were having a bad day. As soon as the waitress left, Santana turned her full attention to Brittany continuing her story .

"We were such idiots pretending that we would never get caught. Pretending that everything would be just fine between us and that nobody would ever know what occurred between us, but than it did. You see my family is extremely homophobic and I tried my best to keep it from them, but one day when me and Alice went to the woods for our daily make out session, my father caught us. I remember him being so furious that he dragged me up by my arm and punched me to the ground to make sure that I knew that I was nothing but uncultured swine to him. When Alice saw me get hurt, she did the one thing that had cost her her life. She turned my dad around trying to get him to calm down to love me for who I was and than he punched her. He punched her so hard that she had lost her balance and had hit her head on the nearby log that we had been making out on. I raced to her so fast that it seemed like time stood still. I tried to wake her up, but she wouldn't respond when I called her name. She was gone and it was all my fault."

Brittany quickly grabbed Santana's hands squeezing them in hers as tight as she could.

"It's not your fault. Your dad killed her not you."

"She would still be alive if it wasn't for me loving her Brittany. My father may have made her fall, but I was the one to sign her death certificate."

"She loved you."

"She died because she loved me."

Brittany bit her lip. How could she convince Santana to stop blaming herself when she had spent years doing so. It just wasn't fair that people like Santana spent their life feeling guilty while people like Richard hardly felt guilty at all.

"She would have loved you regardless of if you two would have dated or not. Believe it or not Santana you;re actually a more lovable person that you would like to think. "

Santana flashed her a brief smile, but Brittany could tell that there was still a great amount of pain in her eyes."

"It's not your fault Santana and you shouldn't put a pause on your life because of it. "

"Who says I've stopped living my life?"

"No one I can just tell."

"Well what do you suppose I do with myself?"

"How long has it been since you've been on an actual date?"

"It's been a while."

"Did you want to go on one say next Friday?"

"Depends are you asking?"

"It's fine if you say no. I know you said you wanted to keep our relationship strictly platonic, but I think you should actually give it a try before you shoot it down like it's nothing."

"You're right. I should."

"Really?"

"Really."

Brittany squeezed her hand and at that moment in the confides of this small diner, Brittany felt as if she was ready to begin again.


End file.
